Friday, June 13, 2008

June 10th

This is a date of reflection for Chrissie and me. She gave birth to my first grandson on this date. She had just turned 16. She had told that me she was going to spend the night with the neighbor girl, but the two snuck out the window. Chrissie ended up at a party and was introduced to White Russians. She loved them and had several - they tasted so good - but they were loaded and ended up knocking her out. And while passed out, someone knocked her up. It took months - three exactly - for her to realize it. Her friends counseled her to get an abortion, but when she confided in me, she said - Mom, my baby has fingernails. He had become a person to her and abortion wasn't an option.

I contacted a friend who did counseling for situations like this. She was our angel. In the course of things, my friend told me that she knew a couple on the East Coast who were approved for adoption, had in fact, arranged to adopt a baby but the mother walked out after her baby was born. I told Chrissie, but she wanted to keep her baby until-- until the day she came from the program our county has for unwed high school mothers when her friend sobbed because she only had enough money to pay for Robert's prescriptions *or* his diapers. She said, I can't put my baby in Robert's position. He never asked to be born.

She asked our friend to help her place her baby with those friends she had told me about. It was a remarkable journey. The adoptive couple were wonderful. When they learned that Chrissie wanted to name the baby for my father for the three days he roomed in with her at the hospital- they were receptive. My father's name coincidently was both the names of the adoptive father, only in reverse order. It is the name they gave him. They wrote her for five years and sent her pictures. At the end of five years, they agreed that the contact would stop. His father has a web presence. We have always know where he is and been able to observe that he has a wonderful home and a rich live. Given the circumstances, who could wish for more.

As always, June 10th is a poignant date. Chrissie phished on MySpace. I have an account that she set up for me so I can be in contact with her little brother. It seems all kids are on MySpace, and it seems that as they age, they migrate to Facebook. Anyway, this year in her meanderings, she found his MySpace account and sent me the link. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to know how well he is doing. I doubt that he will ever know that we peek in on him. We are both aware of what an emotional earthquake that would be, but, you know - it's nice to know.

So this is a picture - yeah, he's got the goofiest of smiles - but he's got the prettiest of dates. It's my youngest son who was five when my first grandson was born.

And this is the picture of his nephew, if we're not mistaken. It takes my breath away.


Minya said...

22 years sure went by awful fast, dontcha think. Matty says they may be twins but that he is the good one.

Valerie said...

It is a breathtaking story....I'm sure not an easy one to share. There are so many links in a life, some visible, some not so much. Chrissy must be quite a young woman!
Thanks for sharing.

Robin said...

Well, as an adoptive mother or two, I can tell you the graditude I feel to the biological mother. Adoption is a beautiful thing. A child - born in my heart not in my womb.

Minya said...

As I was reading this again, a quote popped into my mind. "You just won yourself a one way trip to the hospital." LOL!

Sharon said...

Actually, he said, "You've just won yourself a trip to the hospital." A one-way trip means you're going to die, though it might have felt like it at the moment.

Leigh said...

What a poignant story. And what a wise young woman Chrissie was to recognize how precious that pre-born life was. What a brave young woman to make such a selfless choice. And very, very lucky to have a supportive Mom like you.

bspinner said...

You can be so proud of your daughter!!!!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us.

Birdsong said...

Sharon, your story and photos brought tears to my eyes... I am glad we live in a time when the Internet makes it possible to see such a picture. I hope it helps a little.

wooly daisy said...

thank you for sharing this beautiful story of your family. i can't imagine what you all went thru-must have been intense. seems like it brought you all closer together and a family got a child they really really wanted.